was going to..
see people..
say hello..
where did the fiction go? it's all the same fiction and reality and i'll tell you a story soon, a story about a girl beating a mirror because her boyfriend didn't think she was beautiful and a boy watching everyone looking like the mannequins a shop and how sad it was that the mannequin designer viewed naked people as sad, emotionless and expressionless and a doctor operating on a dying man who ran away from his girlfriend, leaving her feeling worthless and the man is freaking out, freaking out because the doctor actually looks scared, not so confidend but scared that this man will die and actually mean it, be gone from this world and the mannequins look so sad, curved limbs and flat lips and the old man inside is selling mirrors and antiques and ancient clothes and his eyes probe and he reads the minds of everyone who buys from him..
and i am all of them. the girl, the boy, the doctor and the car, the man (but not the mannequins), the drugs, the sunlight. all exist in my imagination, to be the reality.
you're scaring me, chaos-reality.
scaring me and i gotta admit i fucking love it.
getting scared out of my senses is my idea of love.
"tell me a dirty joke and i'll laugh it off lightly"
"if i tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me"
--tim fite. chaos man.

"around the world"
--daft punk

"i have a love hate relationship with humanity"
--myself

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

- χєησ - says:
test
- χєησ - says:
http://badgods.com/buddhistrpg.html
- χєησ - says:
http://badgods.com/normo3.html
- χєησ - says:
اشاش
- χєησ - says:
...
- χєησ - says:
yeah.
- χєησ - says:
life is fucking ri-------.. i think i'm losing my mind, on the verge of tears and suffering, simultaneously feeling lightly free and loved by no one in particular..
- χєησ - says:
i'm not on drugs atm..
- χєησ - says:
just feeling.
- χєησ - says:
music: http://www.myspace.com/timfite
- χєησ - says:
telling you this because.. i think you are psychadelic in nature
- χєησ - says:
and i have a theory.
- χєησ - says:
that the drug enlightenment of mind/matter : same
- χєησ - says:
and..
- χєησ - says:
the chaos theory: quantum physics mixed with classical physics
- χєησ - says:
the pattern is called in psychadelics and electronic nature "synergy" or "the mechanism" or in nature,
- χєησ - says:
"chaos"
- χєησ - says:
and the pattern is everywhere..
- χєησ - says:
my theory is that all branches of everything are related
- χєησ - says:
i was reading the chaos theory book again last night stoned
- χєησ - says:
and the more i read it the more i start
- χєησ - says:
..
- χєησ - says:
it's like the mathematical proof of mathematics
- χєησ - says:
..
- χєησ - says:
but it's with human perception.. but that's the ... bizare thing.
- χєησ - says:
humans are the only known chaos-makers, synergy mind/matter chaotic decision makers.. realityfromimagination creators..
- χєησ - says:
..only known to humans.
- χєησ - says:
science is like nature's self-awareness
- χєησ - says:
amazon is quoting oprah as a sales point. remember that, it's important.
- χєησ - says:
answers before questions
- χєησ - says:
if the purpose of life is to die, why not start dead?
- χєησ - says:
..but if the purpose of death is to live...
- χєησ - says:
everyone is alive and dead at the same time, schrodinger's human
- χєησ - says:
and maybe without collapsing, we exist as both alive and dead: aware and not aware
- χєησ - says:
and maybe circuits 1 and vii/viii are the most severe, the most extreme
- χєησ - says:
awareness of the moment
- χєησ - says:
awareness of all
- χєησ - says:
narrow vs infinite
- χєησ - says:
the catch is.. narrow is part of infinite, and to be infinite is to be narrow (defined)
- χєησ - says:
i think..
- χєησ - says:
i thought yesterday
- χєησ - says:
decided, realized
- χєησ - says:
without psychadelics
- χєησ - says:
just thinking (i'm a psychadelic thinker)
- χєησ - says:
that
- χєησ - says:
there is no choice.
- χєησ - says:
no, that's not what i said..
- χєησ - says:
no escape, no mercy.. was another no " "
- χєησ - says:
no control.
- χєησ - says:
i wrote it down in my notebook.
No Control
No Escape
No Mercy
- χєησ - says:
a tatoo idea, a life idea..
- χєησ - says:
no control: we have none.
no escape: we cannot.
no mercy: we do not show it to our lives.

- χєησ - says:
it looks contradic.. if you don't understand chaos/synergy
- χєησ - says:
that no control and no mercy are the same thing.
- χєησ - says:
beyond genetics. beyond imprints.
- χєησ - says:
that there's no control, only the acceptance of what is.
- χєησ - says:
i swear i'm not tripping or anything, this is all thoughts running in my head today.. i got bombed on weed last night and i thought it was a waste, i passed out reading a fiction book about toxic fish and stuff
- χєησ - says:
but i guess not, i think it opens me up
- χєησ - says:
synergises / brings the chaos to my mind
- χєησ - says:
the energy and the void, two results people have reported from acid
- χєησ - says:
and two relitgious notions: all is everything and all is nothing
- χєησ - says:
the one and the zero (after taking acid the mathematicians were able to program. they understood creating one from zero)
- χєησ - says:
well, i think chaos is the ultimate answer, and question, to everything.
- χєησ - says:
the synergy of anything is in everything.
- χєησ - says:
imagination, action. orgasm, reception. transmission, understanding. motion, opposite force.